This woman never looks in the mirror and does self analysis that perhaps she is the reason that everyone either runs off or does her wrong in some way or another. Honestly she is one of the most dreadful people I have ever met in my life, and then she will start to complain about all of her friends and family and to hear her tell it, nobody does her right and everybody treats her bad and nobody wants to come around her. She also loves to blackmail you when she is mad at you with things you have been naive enough to tell her in confidence, threatening to post them on Facebook or tell other friends and family members. She runs her mouth loudly Non-Stop, throws tantrums that include breaking stuff when things don’t go her way, lies about everyone she knows, always seeks sympathy very early in any conversation you have with her, and 99.9% of her trouble is self-inflicted, due to her ridiculously poor choices in life. she is likely bipolar and if she would go and be diagnosed, I’m sure that they would discover that. I have a cousin on my dad’s side who is a combination of Downer and the Tank. Thank you for an informative breakdown of people we need to be careful around, try and avoid whenever possible, or if we have to spend time around them, ways to get along and function without losing our minds!! Ah the peace of that from any ground level. Higher ground is a sound byte a meme, it is not effective in these situations in fact it isn’t even a halfway decent work around. Ineffectual behaviour needs to stop having excuses made for it. Better to avoid them and their lack of self awareness and keep your sanity my friends it’s precious in this world. There lack of self reflection ensures they don’t understand themselves so how are you going to. I cannot fathom the idea of working around a difficult and stubborn person (wherever) by trying to understand them. They truly believe they are a finished product and that you need to just love them the way they are. You can only effect your own actions by setting boundaries for yourself. You cannot illustrate your point to these people. I feel the recommendation of “try and understand” results in acceptance of crazy making behaviour. I do recommend spending little time around the DFM. I don’t practice dancing around a person who refuses to self reflect. I value the input and opportunity for growth but… They are fruitless with net zero emmissions going out. I have found myself in dozens and dozens of seemingly positive growth conversations. None of what you rationally discuss will be remembered or instituted into the DFMs life. If you do get to a mutual understanding conversational place (on a random Tuesday), that’s where it ends. Having a continual practice of zero self-reflection guarantees this. They have no idea why they do what they do (unconscious). Step 3 will not work if the DFM has no self-awareness or feels they are a finished product (ego). So, you need to create a buffer zone by surrounding yourself with good friends, seeing them less, and, if you have to be with them, doing it for the minimum amount of time. So, if you have to deal with them, you can understand where they are coming from, and then keep your distance. Toxic people can be passive-aggressive, mean, or hurtful. If you let them talk to you, that might help them not blow up or try dominating a situation. For example, sometimes Tanks just want to explain their opinion. This not only helps me understand them, but also helps them relax and become more open-minded. For some people it is money for others, it is power or knowledge. A value language is what someone values most. The way to disengage a difficult person is to try understanding where they are coming from.
This never works! In fact, when you try to change someone they tend to resent you, dig in their heels, and get worse. We try to encourage Downers to be more positive, Passives to stand up for themselves, Tanks to calm down, and Better Thans to be more humble. When we meet a difficult person, or if we have one in our family or circle of friends, our instinct is to try changing them. They want their way and will do anything to get it.
They don’t contribute much to conversations or people around them and let others do the hard work. Passives also are known as Push-Overs, Yes Men and Weaklings.They like to try impressing you, name-dropping and comparing. Better Thans also are known as Know It Alls, One Uppers or Show-Offs.Downers are also known as Negative Nancys or Debbie Downers.Think about the person in your life and figure out which category they are in: There are 4 different types of difficult people. Here are some ideas for how you can handle the difficult person in your life: 1.
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